


Good Boys Hold Flowers

by Takana_Kimore



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canonical Character Death, Depression, F/F, F/M, First Love, Friendship, M/M, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-01 03:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4003318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takana_Kimore/pseuds/Takana_Kimore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone has a soulmate, Hazel once told you. A person, who completes the missing piece of the puzzle, accepts someone for who they are and everything they can be.<br/>One day you find yourself wondering, do you even have a chance with that?</p><p>This is a love story about a boy, two other men, and a bouquet of roses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chasing an Elephant in the Cage

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. I am simplynightingale and this is my first story on AO3. I am unused to the format, so I apologize in advance for formatting errors. Thank you for reading my story. 
> 
> Tags will be added as the story progresses. Enjoy!

You walk along the crowded streets, holding a bouquet of what you perceive to be white roses. The flowers weigh heavy in your long fingers, but you do not mind. It is a reminder of what you have lost and will continue to lose. It is a reminder that you are alive. Alive in a world where you wish to be boneless, left to fly through the night air with a single gust of wind and disappear entirely. But you know people who won’t let you, even though you are unhappy. Unhappy in a place where you only see black and white and everyone else sees in color.

What is color? The word— _color_ —sounds foreign, strange on your ears. _~~It feels and tastes strange.~~_ Color is associated with vibrancy, vivaciousness, and vividness. Properties you are lacking in your mind, in your life. What is a vibrant pattern?  What is a vivacious action? What is it like to see in vivid color? What is this color? You shake the flowers and see a single dark gray petal fall to the ground. You ponder these questions like you have all your life. They are the questions you wish to answer before the end of your existence. And you will quite possibly never learn the answer. It all concludes on one principle—you need a soulmate to see it and you do not have one.

Everyone has a soulmate, Hazel once told you from her spot on the loveseat. A person, who completes the missing piece of the puzzle, accepts someone for who they are and everything they can be. A supporter, a lover, and a friend. Hazel loves to revel in her new senses—taste is interesting and picky (She says she can never eat fried anchovies again), smell can be a gift and a curse, but the most important gift is sight. You are glad Frank gave her the most pleasurable experience possible. To see the world for what it really is, in all its marvelous splendor and myriad of colors that paint the sky. Hazel tries to show you some of her artwork, but you cannot detect how the colors blend together on the page. All you can see are the shades of whites and blacks, but no color. It upsets her, so you leave and let her live her life. You have no soulmate.

Annabeth likes to tell you it is not true. “You have a soulmate somewhere, Nico. They may not be here or they are and they have yet to meet you. You will be fine.”

You like Annabeth despite your misgivings. She is strong, bright, smart, and wonderful. She does not try to lie about the facts to your face like Hazel and her Frank.  You trust Annabeth wholeheartedly. So you ask her about how to find your soulmate. Once a month during your therapy sessions at her office. Her office is quiet, you always liked that.

Annabeth explained it as tricky. There is no process, no warnings, no signs, just a magnetic pull that leads you to the person who will complete once the pair of you meets. Then, you will know, she says. Annabeth is smart, but Annabeth is not right. You were taken with someone just in that way, but you do not have a soulmate.

His name _~~was~~_ is Percy Jackson and he _~~is~~_ was the most beautiful thing to you. Without color, you could tell he was handsome, with his wild hair and captivating smile. You admired him unabashedly. In your tender, younger years you idolized Percy with a ferocity. Your feelings were based on a passionate _love_ loyalty, and you nursed and harbored those feelings for five years. You waited long and that well-built man had rooted himself in your mind and soul. You prayed day and night that one day, just maybe, he could look upon you with those eyes and you would see color. For a simple second, he would notice you and love you too. And then he met Annabeth, and he settled down with her in a tall apartment building on 5th Avenue and you were left crippled. You gave up on soulmates, after that.

The problem, you think, remains with the desire to have one. For years, people, persuasive and compelling, give speeches about how wonderful it would be to have a soulmate. Everyone has one and you do not know what it would be like to have one too. You desire it like you desire to see color. You want it, but cannot. To be honest, despite your bitter and venomous feelings on the subject, you want to be taken care of, loved for being you. You want a soulmate to encourage you in ways more than Hazel can provide. With a father that believes you are a complete failure, a stepmother that enjoys your pain and torment, and a beloved sister and mother waiting for you six feet under, you want some support. A reason to keep going on with this poor charade of living a normal life—without color, without taste, without smell. Depraved of all senses, it is a reasonably bland life and you could not be pleasured more by your pitiful existence. Subconsciously you want your sister and your mother. You are left with white roses.

You walk briskly towards the cemetery to visit the loved ones buried too deep to see you. You can no longer touch them, but you can hear them in your mind if you are close enough. And now you need the comfort. The tradition started when you were ten, first with your mother and then with your sister. They are buried next to each other with an angel overlooking them both from the top of the headstones. You carved the angel for them. Your sister had always complemented your artistry. Since her death, you have lost your muse and the motivation to continue. Anything you now create is dedicated to Bianca, as it should be. You only wish she was here to kiss your forehead, reminiscent of how she did all those years ago. You were once ten and now you are older than twenty.

You continue on your path. The city is filled with people hustling around and you are trying to protect the flowers from getting destroyed as you move around them. You have not missed a day since you were ten and you are not planning to now.

 It was on a chilly Sunday that you missed your first day and saw color for the first time in twenty-one years.


	2. Chasing an Elephant in a Cage Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are tongue-tied. He is gazing at you with a gentle stare and you swallow. He can tell you are tense and gives you a smile. You shyly smile back. This is your soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy the second chapter. Chapter three is complete and will be uploaded later tonight.

You land awkwardly on your bottom with an indignant squawk, your flowers falling from your hand onto the pavement. Whoever bumped into you is larger than your five foot eleven inch frame, but you do not register the information. You are mad, angry, beyond furious, which is not a surprise; your father is well known for his temper. You are on the ground, your flowers slipping away into the light breeze. The pretty petals fly away faster than you can catch with your eyes. Your pride has been shattered, the gift for your mother and sister is ruined. A rage flows through you and you rise, ready to rip a new one in the other person. You stand on your own and you raise your head, mouth ready to spew venomous words when the world stops and you gasp.

There is a flash of light in your eyes, piercing white that threatens to blind you. You stumble back in shock. The white fills your eyes and suddenly your life’s story is played like movie.

You can see yourself walking down on dirt. You are chubby faced with big, dark eyes and your stubby two-year old legs struggle to follow Bianca as she skips to the park. Her French braided hair is flying in the wind, her whitish dress twirling around her legs. You see yourself a few years later. Seven years old with your mother kissing your forehead and your father smiling at you proudly after you play the piano. Your sister is grinning from the ear to ear as she hold up your black and grey painting when you are nine. You can see all the previous moments passed. Your father’s proud smile, your mother’s eyes twinkling with mirth and happiness, and your sister’s broad grin. You can see it, in the black and white colors of the world, with more clarity than anything else in your life.

The light flashes again and you see yourself at twelve, holding hands with your younger sister Hazel as she leans on you at the park for a nap. You see Percy, his radiance and his warmth. You see Annabeth, with her smart smirk and her reserved smiles. You see Reyna, grim faced determination masking her beautiful face as you spar in the afternoons. And you see Frank, the bumbling baby-faced man who became the soulmate of your sister. The flashes are fast, in black and white, and you pray it will end.

Then it stops and you are on your hands and knees, staring at the concrete. Your breathing is unsteady and you are glad ~~_the thing_~~  your episode is over. It was different from the episodes you had before, worse that it showed your past and saddening as it showed the important people of your present. You will have to consult Annabeth, you think, about your new problem. Again, you raise your head and you are knocked breathless.

The first thing that registers is there is a new light. It is strange to see it. A darker color of white but with a different shade. You cannot describe it and there is more of it on the clothes of surrounding persons and it is clinging to the sky. The sky is not white. It is full of white and another color and there are planes in the sky that are still gray. A constant in this new variation of the world. There is a gleam of another color, the glow of another, and the luminosity, the newness, the variation of the colors blows your mind again. You can’t breathe.

You try to breathe and get a mouthful of smog. Your throat fills up and constricts against the new sensations. You can smell. It is amazing. The warm smell radiating from the cup of coffee passing from beside you. You cannot describe the way it smells, how it lingers in the air and you can  _taste_  it on your tongue.

Taste. The newest sensation is so subtle and elegant. You do not need to have something in your mouth to taste. Your very tongue and teeth have a taste. What must be mint is hovering in your mouth. Mint is fresh, just as Listerine promised. You open your mouth and are assaulted by a new feeling. You did not think about it at first after the onslaught of spectacles and wonders; you did not believe you could partake in the experience.

Now you know what it is like to experience these strange gifts that your sister and friends take so much pleasure in. A joyous laugh bursts through your lips and you look down at the pale white of your skin. You are pale, you have no color. The thought disheartens you, but not much. You look at your clothes—the blacks and whites of the outfit that stands out garishly compared to the vibrant backdrop of the city. It hurts you on the inside to know that you did not fit in with the other colors, but you are excited.

You will have to take money out of your fund to pay for classes to learn the new vibrancies that exist in your life. Classes to teach you the scents that exist on Earth and how to explain taste. You will have to rely on Hazel for cooking before you can attempt to assort your taste palate. Something inside you sings with joy. You have it. The thing you desire most. The senses, amazing in their complexity and freshness. It makes you realize that you have gained a dream that you had once set to the side and thought you could not have. You have a soulmate.

You look up to see a bright hair colored man step in front of you. His hands are outstretched towards you and the glasses perched on his nose are sliding down. You stare at him and he stares back, his mouth open in a little ‘o’ before he can recover himself. He is taller than you by a few inches, maybe two and his feet are covered in white shoes. You are glad you can associate a color to an object for once. You look at him for familiarity, cataloging his face from the intense eyes to the scar on his upper lip.

“Hi,” he says cautiously, before rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. You nod in greeting as well. You cannot force yourself to speak. You are tongue-tied. He is gazing at you with a gentle stare and you swallow. He can tell you are tense and gives you a smile. You shyly smile back. This is your soulmate. You can make it work. At least, those are your thoughts until he opens his mouth again.

“Um, this is awkward, but I have a girlfriend.” 

  


	3. Only in a Dream Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forever alone with no one to hold. Forever alone with no one to love. Nico can never have a soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am working on the fourth chapter. I hope you all are enjoying your weekend and happy Memorial Day for the Americans.

The news does not confuse or upset you. Bonds between individuals are often formed before a person finds their soulmate. These bonds are usually formed out of loneliness or desperation. Many people chose to find romantic comfort in a close friend until they find their soulmate. It happened with Hazel and her friend Leo until she found Frank and he found Calypso. You are not overly surprised that he has a partner. He is attractive. It makes sense. And you find you do not care. Because he is yours…your soulmate.

You simply shrug. And then, in the fog of your brain, you reach out to grab his hand to find out the texture of his skin. You stumble forward and he catches you in his arms. His arms are warm and strong compared to the chilly air and you breathe in his scent. It is a nice smell, not overbearing. Despite not knowing how to properly describe a smell or a taste, you settle on pleasant for an apt description of him.

Your behavior startles him and it startles you as well. You are not a touchy, feely person, not at all. The only person allowed to touch you is Hazel, occasionally Reyna, and that is it. But, in this situation, you instincts shout at you to cling to your soulmate. You are emotionally compromised and your impulsiveness is only ruining the situation.

“Oh, god. No, I meant that…” his voice cuts off as he tries to shuffle your weight. “Is there a place I can take you? I know how disorienting the Unlocking is and you are going to need some support for this.”

You want to say his place. _Goodness that sounds forward._ You cannot deny he is attractive. In your light-headed daze, you struggle to say something appropriate.

“5th,” you manage to whisper against his shoulder. He puts his arm under yours and you begin the long walk towards 5th street.

“So what is your name? My name is Jason.” _Jason_. The name sits on your tongue as you test it. It is an alright name, not as unique as the names you are used to, but perfect for him. He looks like a Jason with his perfect light hair and eyes and muscles and a long list of other aesthetically appeasing aspects.

“Nico,” you say.

“Nico. That is a nice name. It sounds Italian. Are you Italian?” you nod and he hums in response.

“Do you know who your soulmate is?” The question makes you raise your head and look at him inquisitively.

“Isn’t that you?” your voice cracks just a little.

“No.” he says. “I came across you on your hands and knees and it looked like you could use some help. I remember what is was like to meet your soulmate for the first time and the recalibration process takes a while to get used to. I was hoping you knew who the person was that left you.”

Your mind is reeling. From shock or disappointment, it does not matter. You are in his arms and he is not your soulmate.

“You remember…” the thought trails off. You are getting closer to Annabeth’s apartment building. You are going to need her now. And Hazel.

“Uh huh. When I met my girlfriend Piper, it took a while for us to get used to the new sensations. The colors and the smells and the tastes. It is a lot to take in, especially when you are already having trouble breathing. Piper and I spent all day in my apartment before attempting to go outside. I can only how assaulted you are feeling are right now.”

You raise your head from his shoulder. Cataloguing what has happened, your heart clenches painfully. You do not have a soulmate. Soulmates do not abandon each other. They stick together and the nice man, Jason, only came because it looked like you were in trouble. Like you needed something. And you do. The empty feeling has returned with a vengeance and you are trying your _hardest_ not to cry. Everything good in your life goes away quickly. You hoped it would stay.

Tears roll down your cheeks without your knowledge and only the feeling of calloused fingertips brushing against your soft cheek bone brings you back to present. You are in his arms and you are not his and it only makes you cry harder. You will be alone again. Jason has been kind to you and you latched onto him like a lost puppy. You craved his attention, his touch, and now you know you are not meant for him. You are not meant for nice things, for nice people, for nice anyone. Maybe it is best you are not meant for anyone. There is nothing to help you now, except for the colors and the scents and the tastes of your new world. And you will suffer alone and in pain. The pain of knowing you do not have a second half.

“Oh crap. I’m sorry. I did not mean to make you cry.” Jason says and you notice you are in front of the building. You cannot describe how the building looks other than it is tall, features reminiscent of a 1960s Townhome with its design. Your mind is reeling and you are on the verge of a breakdown.

You reach your fingers out and you hit the little button next to Annabeth’s name. It rings and you sag back against Jason. He is stable, solid, and his earnest expression makes you feel worse. He genuinely wants to help you and you cannot fathom why.

Since you were young, after your mother and sister died, people avoided you like the plague. Percy was never truly a friend to you until the _thing_ which also forced you into counseling with Annabeth. Frank and Leo were creeped out by your presence. People walked around you, pretended you did not exist when you spoke to them and you distinctly remember Clarisse pushing you into oncoming traffic when you ignored her polite request to move over. More like her shout to beat it punk when you asked what Fall Out Boy song she was listening to. The track sounded familiarly, goodness.

The door opens and Annabeth stepped out. A long darkish coat is on her and only her slippers peep out.

“Nico, what is— Jason, what are you doing here? Did something happen?” You do not question how Jason and Annabeth know each other. You can barely focus on where you are now. Your breathing is erratic and the hands that were once grounding you feel very far off.

 “Nico,” the name sounds far away as you close your eyes and fall into unconsciousness. Yet, as you fall dimly into darkness, you can make out the sound of the broken reel that continues to play. 

_Forever alone with no one to hold. Forever alone with no one to love. Nico can never have a soulmate._


	4. Only in a Dream Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sight you won't be able to take pleasure in seeing all the time, because he is not your soulmate. He is bound to another and another alone. But Jason is making you laugh, making you happy, and that is an impressive feat on its own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. I am introducing some familiar characters in this chapter and the golden one we have all been waiting for. Now, if you have not noticed by now, the pairings say Nico/Will and Nico/Jason, which implies that this will be a long story. I hope you stick around for the ride. And I finally learned how to format! Yay :)
> 
> Oh, and check the end notes for an explanation of how the Soulmate system works. Enjoy.

          The first things you notice are the monotonous beeping around you and the strange contraption in your nose. You can feel the firm texture of a bed and a cotton blanket over your skin. Your shoes and socks and jeans are off somewhere and your shirt feels thin. The leather jacket you are so accustomed to wearing is also mysteriously absent. There are loud noises surrounding you and you absently wonder if this is another holiday party. The last time you went to one, you were 17, drunk, heavily volatile, and almost got arrested. But, if you think hard enough, all the blames goes to Percy.  He shouldn’t have bought you drinks anyway.

           Surprisingly, you feel like your drunk again. Your head is pounding, misty and unclear; it might mean you have a concussion. Your luck has run out, like it is Monday, because in your opinion the day has gone horribly.You try to discern your current state as you register the voices floating around your ears. You can hear the aggravation, tiredness, anxious, and easy going tones in the air. The last one does not make sense. Your hearing must be off or it must be that there are different voices making noise all at one and your poor addled mind is struggling to put all the pieces together.

            “It’s been an hour. I think we should get the doctor back in here. He might have a concussion.” Annabeth’s voice can be heard clearly first.

            “No, I am sure he is fine.” Next is Percy and his voice is still as beautiful as you remember. You sigh a little in your dreamland. It’s easy, silky, with the familiar hint of a city accent.

            “He hit his head on concrete, Percy. Don’t you think that warrants a little concern?”

            “I have to agree with Annabeth. We can’t play around with his health like that and once he wakes up—“The voice sounded strangled and cut off. _Reyna_ , you associate with the voice. What is she doing here? Where are you? “You know how he is in this setting.”

            This setting…she must be talking about hospitals. You do not like hospitals, _~~not since~~_ No, you do not want to think about it. Dwelling on old things will send you into a panic and you do not want an attack right now. You do not want to have any attacks; you want freedom and love and many desires you cannot reach inside your little bubble of darkness.

            “I’m not suggesting we ignore him. I am just saying—“

            “Hush, he is waking up.” There is silence once you hear his voice—the not-soulmate—and your heart breaks a little more. You had hoped that Sunday was just a bad dream, reversible, something you could forget when you awoke. But now it is time for you to open your eyes and face the music. You cannot hide under the pretense of unconsciousness any longer. Your life hasn’t changed, no matter how much you wanted it to. It has not changed beyond the colors and it will never progress beyond the tastes.

            You open your eyes, blinking away your sleepy stupor. In the crack of your eye, you can see Hazel amongst the forms that crowd around your bed. Hazel is there, palpable, tangible, and in color. Finally, you can see the color of her skin. And it is a soothing, comforting, and beautiful color. Hazel has always been pretty, even in your previous black and white vision. Yet, somehow, now she is gorgeous like her character, complete in all ways, and you cannot fully grasp the concept.

            You reach out for her, croaking out her name through dry lips. “Hazel,” It is a small whisper and she hears it. She always hears when you call for her, no matter where she is.

            You reach a pale hand and take her colored one, a small sad smile gracing her features. You stroke her skin in a pacifying gesture and she looks upon you with strange colored eyes. She pulls your hand to her cheek and rests it there. The gesture is intimate and cozy, something you two do when one sibling needs comfort. You try not to burden Hazel too much with your issues, but she insists on being there—back then and now.

            “You scared me for a while, you idiot.” She kisses the palm of your hand. You manage a grin before speaking.

            “I’m sorry.” She gives you another heartbreaking smile and leans in to kiss your forehead.

            “It’s okay, I know.” She promises. “I took the day off of work so I can spend it here with you.”

            You struggle to look around but firm hands grab your shoulders.          

            “Annabeth said you hit your head pretty hard so she brought you to the hospital.” The hospital. You recognize the insistent beeping of the heart monitor, the tube in your nostril, and the IV dripping into your arm. You can’t be here. Images of rushing nurses, flat-lining, and horrible coughing fill your head in rush. You are eight years old again and you watch your mother as she dies on her hospital bed, sacred and precious despite the copious amounts of blood dripping off of her fingertips. Distantly the heart machine sounds erratic and your breathes are coming in faster and faster and—

            “Hey, soldier, focus on me.” There is snapping in front of your face that you only just see. The scene dissipates and now you are looking at Reyna. Reyna is majestic as always. She is another sister, an honorary sister, and she keeps you grounded in ways Hazel cannot.

            “Do you see me? You are okay. We won’t let anything happen to you while you are here. Got that?”

            You give a shaky nod and she smirks, plucking you in the forehead. You growl at her, rubbing at your tender skin.

            “RARA,” you mutter and she snarls.

            “Don’t call me that, Neeks.” You smile at her. Reyna is always ready for playful banters unless it includes her initials.

            “Hey Neeks, how ya feeling?” Percy gets close in your face to ask and question and whoa. Percy looks even better in color. You dumbly nod at him for a while before shaking your head.

            “Guys, lay off with the teasing.” Percy gave an affronted gasp and says a comment about how he is not teasing you.  Annabeth snorts, obviously amused, and smiles at you, not unkindly.

            “Now that you are awake, I am going to get the doctor. I will be right back.” She gets up from off the couch— _How did you not see that?_ — and walks to a white door. She winks at you and vacates the room, making it a little easier to breathe.

            “Hey,” You turn to the left and there he is. Jason is there, his face just the same as before with his bright eyes and his nice smile.

            “Hi,” you respond.

            “I’m sorry for shocking you. It probably wasn’t the answer you were looking for.”

            “It’s fine,” _I’m disappointed all the time._ You shrug and leave that part unsaid, but Reyna gives you a pointed look.

            He shakes his head and gives a hoarse laugh.

            “It’s not fine. I just wish you had that person to depend on you know.” He glances around and speaks again. “Although, Percy isn’t exactly the most dependable guy.” He fake whispers like it is a conspiracy and you try _and fail_ to hold back a snort.

            “Oh, I know. Why do you think I keep the ladies around?” You shoot back.

            “Smart guy,” he laughs, his head thrown back as he struggles to control himself. It is a wonderful sight. A sight you won’t be able to take pleasure in seeing all the time, because he is not your soulmate. He is bound to another and another alone. But Jason is making you laugh, is making you happy, and that is an impressive feat of its own. He is making it harder for you to get over him. A piece of your heart agrees and doesn’t want to.

            “What is this?” Percy throws his hands in the air. “Pick on Percy Sunday,”

            “To be honest, you had it coming.” Hazel supplies.

            “For a while now,” Reyna adds.

            “Every day is a ‘Pick on Percy’ day, Seaweed Brain.” Annabeth giggles before kissing his cheek. “You’re just too thick—headed to notice.”

            “Amen to that.” You wonder when Jason and Annabeth met, but that is a question for another day.

            With the group antics over, you turn your head to the door. A man steps through. He is tall, donning the typical doctor stethoscope and an unusual accessory of flip flops. His hair is a light color, like Jason’s, and he is almost as tall as him too. He is staring down at a clip board before he approaches you and he reaches out his hand.

            “Hello, I am Will Solace.” His voice is relaxing and you feel a familiar wave of calm wash over you. You look up into his eyes and for a minute the world stops. He lets out a little gasp and whispers          

            “It’s you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Instead of marks and words to determine soulmates, the Universe has a system called "Unlocking" :  
> 1\. A person is born with two full sense and one impaired sense. Touch and hearing are unaffected, but everyone is born seeing black and white until the day they meet their soulmate. 
> 
> 2\. A person can meet their soulmate at any point in time, but it is common to meet your soulmate at the age 15 and is rare to meet at any age over 19. 
> 
> 3\. Upon first glance with the soulmate, you gain your other senses-taste, smell, and full sight. 
> 
> 4\. The soulmates then begin a "courting" process where they imprint on one another and refuse to leave each other's sides for a two weeks. This establishes trust, friendship, and general companionship between mates. 
> 
> A/N: I wanted to make my soulmate AU unique to previous AU's I have read in the past, which mostly consisted of names and strange markings. 
> 
> See you in 3-4 days for the next chapter.


	5. Engagement Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You do not question it as dread pools in your gut. This cannot be possible you want to scream. You have sentenced yourself to seclusion. You do not have a soulmate. This cannot be true. You were ready to face this alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting patiently. I have exams tomorrow and up until mid-next week, so I will not be posting for a while. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It was the toughest to write because I did not want to overwhelm you with too much action. Enjoy!

           He and you stare at one another, not caring that there are others examining your interactions with keen eyes. You do not know why you feel this way. A sudden feeling of bitter resentment and pain mixed with a calming sedative. Perhaps it is the hospital medication that you are usually vocally adverse to. Perhaps it is the man’s presence. He puts you at ease, but you can almost touch the boiling anger beneath the surface. Resentment and abandonment battle over precedence in your mind. It is horrible.

            You glare at him suspiciously, your heart tightening in response. It is similar and opposite of how you felt when you met Jason, the components and emotions are there but foreign ones exist as well. You glare at him suspiciously, grasping thin white sheets tightly in pale thin hands.

            “How are you feeling Mr. Di Angelo? You gave your friends quite the scare.” The man says smoothly. If he was put off by your existence, it did not show, ignoring his slip from earlier. You feel the air change from stiff and awkward to professional. Solace had alluded to knowing you previously. From when, you know not and how is another inquiry for another time. He stares at you with an intrusive gaze and suddenly the floor is more interesting that initiating contact.

            “’M fine.” You mutter. It feels weird; his eyes roam over your feeble position on the bed. Personally, you just want the day to end. There has been enough embarrassment and injuries on your end. There are no thoughts of visiting your family or counseling with Annabeth. There are thoughts of a long bath and a long nap. You want to go home and lay in bed.

            “That is good. Can you look here for me?” He shines a bright light in your eyes. It momentarily blinds you, and you know the procedure well enough to expect what is next. You follow his finger motions as he waves the flashlight.

            “Can you open your mouth?” As you follow his instructions, you can see the others shuffling out, possibly to give you some privacy. Knowing your passé, they will be back with plenty of questions for the doctor and lots of hugs for you.  Well, maybe not Jason, but he knows Annabeth and you hope he is just like the rest of them.

            “Breathe in for me.” You shiver against the touch of cold steel. “Breathe out. You are doing well.” He chuckles like it is his own personal joke. He checks your other vitals with his equipment and his hands. Will Solace is acting very professionally now; the tense moment is a vague, forgotten memory that you will not revisit until later. The rest of the checkup is standard, spent in a blur with practiced patience ad your undeniable curiosity. You answer his checklist with toneless answers, yet, all the while, you are thinking. You know this man. You know him—this Will Solace—and you are apparently familiars. _But why?_

            “—and you should be good to go.”

            “Huh, “You cock your head to the side. You had spent so much time thinking that you neglected to pay attention.

            He laughs again. You suspect Dr. Solace is easy to please based on his amiable persona. He moves to the edge of the bed and places his board on the end by your feet. His eyes are scanning your’s, searching for something. You raise an eyebrow. You are plainly confused.

            “It is unsettling, isn’t it? To see colors for the first time,” he sighs wistfully. “They are new to me as well. In a few hours, you will get used to it.”

            “How can you be so sure? How do you know that I can see colors?” You ask.

            “I am a Doctor, Nico. Can I call you that?” The professional manner seems to drop for a more interpersonal feel.

           “I have been around soulmates most of my life, as have everyone else on this planet, and I can recognize the signs easily. Ever since I came into this room, you have been subconsciously cataloguing the interior design and shades of the walls, regardless of the fact that you have been in these same rooms in the past.”

           “Ah,” Is all you can say. That is why he is studying you. He must think you have a mate and are adjusting to the newish world around you. How do you tell a physician that you do not have a soulmate? There should be books for scenarios like this. Alas, there are none because no one else has the same problem as you.

          “You have a soulmate?” You ask out of politeness rather than interest. It is just another way to throw salt at your open wound.

         “Yes,” He smirks at you and leans forward into your personal space. You can feel the heat rolling off of his body and his eyes are getting closer to yours. His eyes are a lighter shade than Jason’s as well as his hair. You did not notice he was attractive before, but you are making a note now.

        “That’s nice.” You lean back against the headboard. Almost instantly, Solace backs away. A frown deeply mars his pleasant features and you wonder what went wrong. Was your disinterest that obvious?

        “You do not remember who I am?” He looks sad, with a pout on his face. It hurts you to see it. An impulse goes through you to touch him, take him into your arms, and make him smile again. You do not understand why you feel that way.

        “No.” You shake your head again to be certain of your answer. “Did we meet in school? If so, don’t feel bad.  I don’t remember a lot of people from that place.” You say trying to placate him.

        He grasps your pale hand in his darker one and you feel a calming sensation overtake you. A sense of ease that you have not felt in a while and a heavy weight fills your stomach. You feel complete. You cannot be complete. You do not have a soulmate. You stare at him with wide, panicked eyes.

       “We met earlier today, Nico, on the street by Millie’s Diner. You were holding flowers and I was rushing to work. We crossed paths.” _A flash of bright color and there he is, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, before running off into the crowd._

       Where did that image come from? You do not question it as dread pools in your gut. _This cannot be_ _possible_ you want to scream. You have sentenced yourself to seclusion. You do not have a soulmate. This cannot be true. You were ready to face this alone. Will stares at you with his pretty eyes and he says what you expect—nine horrible, life-condemning words.

       “I am your missing piece.  I am your soulmate.”


	6. Sweet Disbelief Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Then where were you?" You cry pathetically. Your eyes tear up, too much emotion for one day and you are quietly hoping and praying someone will save you from this nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long absence guys, but some of you know I have been busy. This chapter is shorter than the last chapter, but just as long as the others. I hope to have the next two chapters out by the end of next week. Also, check out my page for my first oneshot and my darker drama. Enjoy reading!

You stare at him for the longest time, the disbelief so transparent on your face it reflects in his lightly colored eyes that resemble the new color of the sky. Solace’s face is sincere and hopeful, like he expects you to believe every word he just said. But, if you were soulmates, why wasn’t he there? Was his work more important to him? No, that was not the answer. Work always takes third place, after soulmates and family. What was so important to Will that made him leave you on the pavement, only for Jason to come and whisk you back up and convince you soulmates do exist, just perhaps, not for you. Before you know it, you release your breath in a raucous laugh. It erupts from your stomach, carrying bitter pools of resentment from your chest and lungs out your mouth to the open air. The doctor is funny, if he thinks he can play you for a fool. You do not believe that tale he just spun. It seemed as if he pulled the story out of his ass and handed it to you on a golden platter as if to say ‘ _Here’s some bullshit to make you feel better about being mate less_ ’.

“You are funny.” You manage to wheeze between guttural chuckles and Will Solace fixes you with a look of extreme distaste. That’s alright, you can hate him now too. For making fun of your situation, trying to take advantage of your missing mate, and further ruining your day; although, you have to be honest, there wasn’t much left to salvage to begin with.

“You think this is so hilarious, don’t you Nico?” he scoffs.

“Please, you expect me to believe all of that? Out of all the silly things I have heard in my lifetime that right there takes prize!” You shout back.

“It’s not a lie—“he starts. You cannot handle it—being lied to about your future and picked on for your status. The world hates you and you have always wanted to bite back, but you had no words to tell it to go bother someone else. Now you do, from the poisonous feelings brewing inside of you. However, the words do not come out in harsh barks or unforgiving sentences. Instead, they tumble out in desperate pleas and tiny tears of brokenness and abandonment.

“Then where were you?” You cry pathetically. Your eyes tear up, too much emotion for one day and you are quietly hoping and praying someone will save you from this nightmare. “Where were you when I got my sight? The only person who was there was Jason and he is not even attached to me. So who are you to go around calling yourself my soulmate?” Some tears escape on the last line, a permanent reminder of your earlier frustration.

“Do you know what it feels like to look around and see color for the first time, but you can’t see your mate?” Will hollers back and you stop. It scares you how much emotion he put into his question, like you can feel his sorrow drifting off of him in waves. It’s drowning you—the pain he feels—and you _~~want~~ need_ to comfort him.

“I didn’t know it was you, because when I looked at you, I saw that blonde guy all over you. What was I supposed to think? I thought I didn’t have anyone, either, until you arrived here and Jason calmly explained you went into shock after learning he wasn’t your soulmate. So I put the pieces together and now you’re here, but you’re mad at me and I can’t—“he breaks off, burying his face into his hands. His hair looks like the color the sun is now and _blonde?_

“Blonde?” you try the word out, weighing it on your tongue and cataloging it in your mind. You reach out and grab his soft hair. “Are you blonde?”

Will looks at you with bright eyed hope and joy and your heart erupts into a million butterflies. You can see how he is your soulmate. The way you are tied to his emotions as much as he quite possibly be to yours.  Something in you compels you to cup his hands into your own and peer into those eyes. You like the way it makes you feel warm inside, like the sun has been roasting you for hours.

“Yeah, I’m something called blonde.” He laughs and you observe it is a nice laugh, very different from your own. “I learned about it long ago from a friend. He called me blonde and I was so confused.”

“Then what am I?” you ask. You want to know how your soulmate would describe you.

“You’re a brunette. A very dark haired brunette.” He says and, for some inane reason, you can feel your face heating up without color.

This is what having a soulmate is about. Feeling cherished in the shortest amount of time—you might be an exception; you have always been starved of romantic affection since you learned the definition of infatuation. But, you also wonder what would happen if you hadn’t landed in the hospital. Would your life without knowing Solace, deeming yourself unworthy of finding love? Would you rely on your friends to crutch and push you up from the oblivions of hopelessness again? Those options do not sound pleasant, and your thoughts have caused you to question your faith in soulmates. You thought Will was a fool and criticized him for it without listening to his side of the story. Now you are craving his affections like some lovesick doll and the imaging the image of you holding a stranger makes your heart twist in some unforgivable way. Regrettably, there is no more touch between the palm of your hands and he looks at you in confusion. It mirrors what you are experiencing in your mind.

“I wish you came up to me regardless. I’m confused now.” You explain.

“About what?” he inquires.

“Where does that leave us? I mean, I spent most of the day doubting that I would every find you and now that I have, I just—“You wring your hands.

“Hey, I get it. Look, if you want to take it slow, we can. We had a messed up introduction and I think we need to establish ‘that’ connection. I’ll start. Hello, my name is Will Solace.” He holds out his hand and you grasp it tightly in your own.

“Hi, I’m Nico. Nico di Angelo.”

 You say those words and for two weeks, you have no regrets. 


	7. A Most Humble Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Will is your soulmate, then why does Jason Grace make you feel complete? Your heart beats widely in response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Nico is a little quirky and cute, everyone's soulmate is absent, and there is a lot of chocolate.

It has been six months, two weeks, three days, and one hour since you said hello to a Mr. Will Solace. You constantly think back to that day when you said yes.  You ponder how lucky you were and how lucky you would be. For two weeks, you and he were paired, always in contact and always talking. You relished the time you spent with him. Until two weeks later, when he had a conference in another state and you could not go because…because…well, something stopped you. You did not have the excuse of work, of having children, or of some dire situation that would give the right it ignore your soulmate’s request. So, the two of you have slowed down into your own, reminded of the lives you still had outside of each other. The daily interactions were reduced to weekly and, to put it mildly, you hate it.

Currently, you are tucked in the safety of your sister’s condo from the chilling autumn air. She sits across from you at the table, two steaming cups in the middle of the table and a plate of cookies. Hazel is craving again. Why is it that pregnant women crave? You are glad you are not a woman and grab a cookie, groaning in ecstasy at the taste of melting chocolate chips on your tongue.

“You don’t have to overemphasize your enjoyment of my baking.” She smiles at you. “I haven’t seen you in a month. How are you and William?”

“Will has been distant,” You say, sipping on a piping cup of hot cocoa, rich brown liquid swirling. You took classes. You can see the colors now; you can describe them to their fullest capacity.  New hobbies include swirling colors on a canvas: a pale pink of a cherry blossom, the crystal blues of the sea, and the vibrant green that astounds you. Your recent work has garnered much praise. You are thinking of opening a gala. You want Will to come.

“You are just going through a phase. Every couple has one, Nico; it is nothing to worry about.” Hazel sighs, her hair in a tight bun atop her head. Her wedding band glimmers in the fading sunlight. You were able to see her on her wedding day three months earlier. It was beautiful; you like that you can see your sister in color now.

“It is not normal. We haven’t talked in,” You huff a breath, frustrated. “We haven’t talked in two days. I know he got the promotion to surgeon, but I want to—“Your words break off for air because you don’t know what you want or how you want to fix it.

Hazel sighs. “You are hopeless at planning dates, you know that?” You arch an eyebrow.

“I have already talked with Solace.” She explains. “You haven’t planned one of the dates to this day. How many have you been on?”

 “92 official dates, 4 cumulative days of texting, 32 hours of movie watching,” You take a sip and admit, you counted all of it. How could you not? Every moment with him is too precious to forget. Time will not work against your happiness. “And I plan a date once. I took him to a gala.” You shout indignantly.

“It was the night you returned to artistry and you wanted him at your unveiling.” Hazel raises an eyebrow and purses her lips.

“Exactly,” You say as if the answer has been self- explanatory this whole time. Hazel groans.

“I’ll think of something for you. But only if you buy me those chocolates from Juniper’s.”

“Now?” You ask her. Juniper’s bakery, Sweets of Envy, is located on the other side of Manhattan. It’s almost rush hour traffic time and you would like to avoid it as much as possible. You hate rush hour traffic. It was the devil’s invention to punish American capitalism, yet all people seem to do is adapt to it. You can’t adapt to rush hour—too many crowds and honking cars, and taxi drivers who can’t drive, and pedestrians who can’t look and walk. It’s a mad house.

“Please,” And, crap it’s the puppy eyes. She knows you can’t resist them like you can’t resist hugging Will after a long day.

 “Fine.” You acquiesce. “The things I do for you.”

 “No, it’s the things you do for Solace.” You grin at her and take the keys. You’ll be back if you run fast enough. You hope you can run fast enough.

A long twenty minute walk takes you to Sweets of Envy. The smell of fresh baking bread causes your mouth to salivate. You see the golden loaves off to the side, the pastries in glass cases and Silena Beauregard is standing behind the counter.

 Silena is a beautiful girl, long black hair plaited in a French braid, blue eyes sparkling and pink lip gloss covering plump lips. You want to ask her to pose for you one day, just to capture her image. She is the perfect model for an artist. She waves at you when she sees you, beckoning you into the shop.

 “Hey, Nico, how’s it been?” She asks like you’re close friends. In a way you are: you are related to Hazel, who is friends with Leo, who is friends with Charlie, whose soulmate is Silena. So you are connected, just far apart.

 “I’m good. How’s Charlie?” You ask out of politeness.

 “Oh, he’s busy working with Leo at the Garage today. They are trying to make a dragon for the expo in March. I swear, he doesn’t leave the shop until I pick him up.” She waves her hand. “Other than that, I guess it is same old, same old. How’s Hazel? I spoke to her at the wedding, but that was months ago.” You know she is fishing for gossip. You recognize these things now that you get out more.

 “She’s good. She sent me here to pick up the truffles and the seven layer cake.” You nod your head at the items. “She’s craving sweets right now.”

Silena smiles and moves across the counter and grabs the food, packing them into little small boxes with her manicured nails. “I hope she can make it to the party next week. I heard she was sick.”

You shake your head. “She was nauseous, but it comes with the pregnancy.” Her head whips so fast, you almost heard her neck crack. The painted lips turn up into a large smile, spreading over white teeth and she leans over the counter and hugs you.

“That is amazing. I have to send a congratulations note. And throw a party. I can’t believe I didn’t know. Jeez, I am a horrible friend. Here, these are on the house.” She arranges the items in a stack as she talks and forces them into your hands.

“No, we cannot take them for free.” You start.

“No complaints. Juniper won’t care as long as she knows who it is for and why.” The bell behind you rings and you turn to see a familiar broad chest and blonde hair. Your heart clenches. It hasn’t done that in a while

…

_“Well, I am happy for you. You found your soulmate.” There were silent cheers that day, but you focus on one voice. His, the blonde man with the kind smile and the electric eyes, and you stay trained on his words. Your throat is thick and your tongue is not cooperating. You want to say something to him, but your body says NO! When your body says no, you wait and you nod, prompting him to speak._

_“I’m sure he’ll be great.” He gives you a thumbs’ up, looking incredibly dorky with those glasses on his face._

_“I think so, too.” Your heart is palpitating, but it is not registering on the machine. He leans in close and your mouth dries like the Sahara Desert._

_“I hope you feel better, Nico.” And he pats your hand with his right hand twice. You can feel the slight callouses and smell the cologne. You want him to stay, right here, right now, where his skin touches yours and there is an electric spark._

_“I…” You don’t can’t say anything now, but he smiles at you, scar twitching and heads for the door. You want to beg him to come back, ignoring the fact that you have a soulmate and everyone in the room could turn around and watch you._

_He leaves with one last hand wave and something in you is injured, beyond repair. Like an emptiness in your chest that feels heavy. And you turn back and stare at Will; the pressure is alleviated, your heart starts beating normally again, but the emptiness is still present. It is as if you are mourning a lost lover, a last what if. You are content to distract yourself with the blondeness of Will’s hair._

_..._

Jason Grace is entering Sweets of Envy and the hollow void of your heart is filling. He is entering and you are watching. He is entering and you are plummeting. If Will is your soulmate, then why does Jason Grace make you feel complete? Your heart beats widely in response.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This story is also available on tumblr. You can find me here: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/simply-nightingale.


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